


75 Texts Bakura sent Malik

by alexdamien



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexdamien/pseuds/alexdamien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like it says, 75 texts about the crazyness that Marik and Bakura get into. Contains a bit of Thiefshipping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	75 Texts Bakura sent Malik

 

  1. Were we going to crash the dice guy's party or not? Still got the hammer.
  2. Well, I told you it was a bad idea to mess with the squirrels.
  3. But what are we going to do with the glitter afterwards?
  4. There really were tiny koalas in it, we should have taken both boxes
  5. What is a bootycall? I demand you come here and explain it to me
  6. In my times they used gourds filled with bees, actually. Why do you want to know?
  7. It wasn't my fault the pharaoh took the axe when I wasn't looking, why did you have to take off your shirt?
  8. But the topless photos were supposed to be only for me!
  9. I said stealing, not stripping! I swear, now you're just using money as an excuse
  10. Well that's what happens when you play with sharks. You can only blame yourself
  11. I don't think turtles can get rabies so you're probably safe
  12. You should have specified that it would be pants wearing "fun times" and I refuse to apologize to Odion
  13. How was I supposed to know you hate snakes?
  14. If you keep trying out stuff you see on tv I will have to take the tv away. Seriously, I'll tell Ishizu she's fed up with your shit too
  15. Where did you get it stuck this time?
  16. There was free ice cream you can barely blame me for stepping on the children
  17. Unless something is on fire any emergency can wait until I finish watching Cannibal Holocaust
  18. Did Odion cook dinner? If so I'm not going
  19. He tripped and fell on my knife I swear! And it wasn't even a fatal wound or anything!
  20. At this point it doesn't even matter who started. Get the matches and get here now.
  21. You really have to stop teasing things that bite. Especially me
  22. Your sister put dye on my shampoo again. I'm just giving you a heads up for when she finds her pet rabbit dead.
  23. The mime was being kind of a dick tbh.
  24. I'm too old for this techno shit. 5000 years old.
  25. We can always hijack the busty blonde's car if it comes to that so np
  26. Which bar are we still not banned from?
  27. If you can't feel it around your legs then you're fine. Just walk out of the cage slowly and carefully.
  28. Of course I'm commando. You ripped my underwear last night and there was no way I was wearing any of your thongs
  29. But what are we going to do with ten gallons of maple syrup left?
  30. Tastes like chicken. Told you it was safe as long as it wasn't moving.
  31. I told you it would be a good idea to bring the fire extinguisher
  32. She had it coming when she said my hair was ugly. And I bet she can still walk.
  33. Fine, you can keep the goddamn bird. We'll get Ryou to take care of it.
  34. Will you believe me if I say it was dead when I found it?
  35. I'm not angry. More like amazed at your liver.
  36. It was exactly like that, except with knives. A lot of knives.
  37. There are pugs here. Too many pugs. Come get me now!
  38. But why did you throw them out the window? I needed those pants.
  39. There were just too many drag queens and too much glitter for me to not bring a knife.
  40. You were on the news and didn't tell me? I was the one who started the fire I deserved that screen time!
  41. You're trapped in an elevator with how many chickens?
  42. I don't have to want to have sex with her to throw ping pong balls into her cleavage.
  43. If you're not here in five minutes I'm just going to set it on fire and go home.
  44. I'm only mad because you started yelling at that homeless man about how he loved Cornelia more than he loved you. Who the fuck is Cornelia?
  45. So a sugar daddy isn't a cocktail?
  46. If I have to walk home in only a trenchcoat again you won't see any of your bikes ever again.
  47. You bet me in a poker game and lost?
  48. Yeah I still have the pantyhose. What do you want them for?
  49. Why is my hair in pigtails? Why is there so much glitter? I can't feel my tongue.
  50. Stop that already, you can't keep the moose.
  51. His legs just went on forever. I'm only sorry you started the fire alarm.
  52. I know I always tell you to not take off your clothes in public but I really need you to take off your shirt at the bar. Now.
  53. Odion knows what I did with his underwear so no dinner at your house for a while.
  54. What makes you think you're a vampire now?
  55. I kept trying to convince you that you weren't lady gaga but it didn't work.
  56. I don't think it's safe to put mustard on it. You should ask Odion. Does it still itches?
  57. I'm seriously considering putting a gps locator on you when we go out.
  58. Birds aren't supposed to drink beer.
  59. I don't know. All I remember was kicking down a shelf at the store and I just woke up covered in m&ms.
  60. It's alright. Ryou keeps a stash of bail money just in case anyway.
  61. She touched my hair, obviously she wasn't keeping that hand.
  62. But how did you get your bike up that tree? Either way we're going to need Odion for that.
  63. I'm starting to worry that dressing up as Santa wasn't a good idea.
  64. If you sharpen your teeth I'll punch them out. I'm serious, and Ishizu will let me.
  65. For the last time inflammable means the same thing as flammable. Ask Ishizu if you don't believe me.
  66. And how did you discover you could pole dance? I need to know these things.
  67. You kept falling over and apologizing to the stairs. It was hilarious, I still have the video.
  68. It's only illegal if they catch me.
  69. Come pick me up before I start stabbing children.
  70. I know you told me to not throw things from the balcony but that pink haired sucker was passing by. Golden opportunity, I couldn't miss it.
  71. You made me carry all these helium tanks for nothing? Ok, I'm blowing up something.
  72. To be honest the lacrosse team was already drunk as hell when I arrived.
  73. You have to stop telling your bird everything, that's how Ishizu finds out!
  74. But why did you bet Ryou at the poker game?
  75. You bet us both?



**Author's Note:**

> I made a few of these for a scene in a different fic I'm writing, and then just… kept going I suppose. I'll later add more. I hope you guys get as much of a laugh from this as I did.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Text Messaging](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2327312) by [DemonMamoru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonMamoru/pseuds/DemonMamoru)




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